Giving Advice Doesn’t Work. Here is What is Better.

Cathie Leimbach • June 10, 2021

As a leader, you want to empower your employees to be independent thinkers, work through issues and come up with the best solution. This helps your team develop and grow professionally.  In addition, it allows your organization’s goals and objectives to be met much more efficiently. 

 

Employees who are trusted to think through issues effectively feel heard, appreciated, and are more engaged. They want to show up and do their very best work every day.

 

When employees approach you with a problem or challenge, it can be easy to jump in and provide what you are sure is the “perfect” advice. Here’s why that doesn’t work:

 

  • It’s judgmental. It sends the message that you are the smartest one in the room because they would have already figured it out if they were. This ultimately breaks down confidence and leaves the employee feeling “less than.”


  • Advice is a directive. When you give advice, you are telling someone what to do. That implies you have all of the answers about what works and what doesn’t. How could you? Chances are you don’t have all of the background in the situation, nor do you have a complete understanding of your employee’s thought process, experience, and skills.


  • It sets up a “gotcha” dynamic. When you give advice, you give your employee two choices: take the advice or ignore it. If they take it, they are tacitly admitting you are right, and they are wrong.  You are almost guaranteed to create defensiveness. When advice is ignored, it invites the possibility of an “I told you so.” Neither of these scenarios supports your employee’s confidence or skill development.


  • It shuts your employee down. Unsolicited advice means your employee will not only not be open to hearing you, he or she will also be much more hesitant to open up with their opinions and insights in the future.


  • Your employee ends up being discouraged from thinking through solutions. They stop trying to think on their own. Strong teams are made up of members who can use critical thinking and expertise to analyze issues and craft viable solutions. 

 

So, if giving advice doesn’t work, what does? The answer lies in (a) asking probing, open-ended questions to help your employee think through the issues and (b) always asking permission before giving advice. 

 

  • Use probing, open-ended questions to gather as much information and insight as possible.  For example:

“Share with me what your thoughts are about the situation.”

“What do you think the underlying problems are?”

“What options have you uncovered to overcome the challenge or solve the problem?”

 

Using open-ended probing questions helps your employee or team think through all of the elements of a particular situation.

 

  • Ask permission before giving any advice.  Let’s say that your employee has outlined all of the possible options they have considered, and you see one more. For example, you could say:

“I appreciate your summary and insights. I thought of one more option; may I share it with you.”

“I am wondering if I may share something else that came to mind while we were talking.”

“I can think of another option.  Would you like to hear it?”

 

Two tools to banish the advice trap.


  • Empower your employees by encouraging their analysis and identifying options and solutions through probing questions to develop stronger, more effective employees. That is a win-win-win for you, them, and your organization. 

 

  • Asking permission before offering options or solutions creates a consensus-building conversation and communicates the respect you have for your employees’ input and ideas.

 

If you would like some additional help identifying ways to empower your employees, reach out for a free breakthrough consultation at cathie@agonleadership.com.

Take a Moment for Joy

By Cathie Leimbach • December 23, 2025
As the year comes to a close, it’s worth pausing to ask a simple question: What brought you joy this year at work and in life? Joy doesn’t always arrive in big, headline moments. Often, it shows up quietly—in meaningful conversations, shared laughter, progress made, lessons learned, or the steady presence of people who support us. Sometimes joy is found in growth, sometimes in rest, and sometimes in simply getting through a challenging season with resilience and grace. Take a few minutes to reflect. What moments made you smile? When did you feel most connected? For what are you grateful? This reflection isn’t about ignoring the hard parts of the year. It’s about honoring the bright spots that sustained you through them. Recognizing joy helps us close the year with perspective and open the next one with hope. As the holidays approach, give yourself permission to slow down, savor meaningful moments, and share joy with others—through kindness, gratitude, and presence.  May this season be filled with moments that lift your spirit, and may you carry that joy with you into the year ahead. 👉 Take a moment to pause this season—view the Reflecting on Joy one-pager and reflect on what brought meaning to your work and life this year. Wishing you a truly joy-filled Christmas season .

Wrapping Up Your Year – Celebrate Your Wins

By Cathie Leimbach • December 16, 2025
As you’re wrapping presents this season, it’s also a great time to wrap up your year with intention. The end of the year offers a natural pause—a chance to reflect, appreciate, and celebrate the people who made a difference along the way. At work, we often move from one deadline to the next without stopping to say thank you. Take a moment to recognize your teammates. Maybe it’s the coworker who always had your back, or the leader who helped you stretch and grow. A sincere “thank you” or a short handwritten note can go a long way. It doesn’t need to be elaborate—just genuine. The same holds true in your personal life. When was the last time you told a friend or family member how much they mean to you? Between holiday plans and to-do lists, it’s easy to forget that our presence often matters more than any present. Every year brings both highs and lows. As this one comes to a close, choose to focus on what went right. Celebrate the small wins and acknowledge the people who supported you through the challenging moments. So, while you’re taping up gift boxes, take a little time to wrap up your year with gratitude. Send the text. Write the card. Let people know they’re valued. After all, the most meaningful gift you can give is helping someone feel truly appreciated. Want more simple, meaningful ways to express appreciation—without overspending?  👉 View Sharing Joy at Work Without Breaking the Bank for practical ideas you can use right away.