Tips for Coaching Your Employees

Coaching employees is a fundamental part of being a good manager. It keeps employees engaged, supports their professional development, and gets more things done more efficiently. Coaching is a learned skill. Too often, we think we are coaching when we are telling our employees what to do. Yet, quality coaching encourages them to proactively manage their own work.

Research shows that there is a significant ROI to coaching. It is a high value activity that positions employees to become better versions of themselves because you are helping them solve problems and accomplish goals. 

The ancient proverb, “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime,” illustrates the benefits of coaching employees rather than giving orders or directives.  Let’s consider some examples that may help you shift your mindset and leadership style.

Example One – One of your employees may be struggling with a teammate’s defensiveness when receiving feedback from a peer.

Rather than saying, “ok, let’s bring him in here, and I’ll talk to him about it,” or “just be direct and let him know he needs to take feedback,” try the following coaching process.

• Ask the employee who wants to discuss this concern with her colleague questions to help her think through how to approach him:

        -  “What is one example of when he doesn’t accept feedback?”

        - “How do you want him to feel when receiving feedback?”

        - “How can you help him feel that way?”

By answering your questions, your employee has an opportunity to think through how to approach her colleague to reassure him that she respects him and encourage him to see the benefit of receiving the feedback she is offering.

Example Two – A manager who reports to you may be lacking intellectual curiosity. When her team shares good ideas, she nods and smiles, but the ideas never make it into a plan. 

Rather than saying “you’re not listening,” which may trigger defensiveness, or “hey, this is no big thing, but you need to listen better”, which would be just one more piece of feedback to ignore, try the following:

• Observe when this behavior pops up. Is she always resistant to other people’s ideas, or does this only happen sometimes? Get some confidential feedback from other teammates, including how this behavior makes them feel. 

• Share your observations and the themes that you see in other teammates’ observations and feelings. Then ask questions to help her realize the benefits of considering and valuing other people’s ideas when making decisions. Your comments may be something like this:

        -  “When someone shares an idea with you, and you don’t engage, they feel discouraged.”

        -  “I wish when ideas were put forth, you took your time to consider them.” “If you don’t like the idea, at least explain your reasoning.”

        - “What comes into your mind when your team members share ideas with you?

You may uncover that she was blind to the pattern. Hearing how her behavior affects others on the team will often create new self-awareness and change behavior, positively impacting the whole team.

Becoming a stronger coach for your team takes practice.  Learning coaching skills and consistently using them will increase your confidence and help you and your team become more effective. Plan on have one-on-one coaching sessions with each of your employees regularly to clarify goals, deal with potential stumbling blocks, and improve their performance.