Giving Advice Doesn’t Work. Here is What is Better.

Cathie Leimbach • June 10, 2021

As a leader, you want to empower your employees to be independent thinkers, work through issues and come up with the best solution. This helps your team develop and grow professionally.  In addition, it allows your organization’s goals and objectives to be met much more efficiently. 

 

Employees who are trusted to think through issues effectively feel heard, appreciated, and are more engaged. They want to show up and do their very best work every day.

 

When employees approach you with a problem or challenge, it can be easy to jump in and provide what you are sure is the “perfect” advice. Here’s why that doesn’t work:

 

  • It’s judgmental. It sends the message that you are the smartest one in the room because they would have already figured it out if they were. This ultimately breaks down confidence and leaves the employee feeling “less than.”


  • Advice is a directive. When you give advice, you are telling someone what to do. That implies you have all of the answers about what works and what doesn’t. How could you? Chances are you don’t have all of the background in the situation, nor do you have a complete understanding of your employee’s thought process, experience, and skills.


  • It sets up a “gotcha” dynamic. When you give advice, you give your employee two choices: take the advice or ignore it. If they take it, they are tacitly admitting you are right, and they are wrong.  You are almost guaranteed to create defensiveness. When advice is ignored, it invites the possibility of an “I told you so.” Neither of these scenarios supports your employee’s confidence or skill development.


  • It shuts your employee down. Unsolicited advice means your employee will not only not be open to hearing you, he or she will also be much more hesitant to open up with their opinions and insights in the future.


  • Your employee ends up being discouraged from thinking through solutions. They stop trying to think on their own. Strong teams are made up of members who can use critical thinking and expertise to analyze issues and craft viable solutions. 

 

So, if giving advice doesn’t work, what does? The answer lies in (a) asking probing, open-ended questions to help your employee think through the issues and (b) always asking permission before giving advice. 

 

  • Use probing, open-ended questions to gather as much information and insight as possible.  For example:

“Share with me what your thoughts are about the situation.”

“What do you think the underlying problems are?”

“What options have you uncovered to overcome the challenge or solve the problem?”

 

Using open-ended probing questions helps your employee or team think through all of the elements of a particular situation.

 

  • Ask permission before giving any advice.  Let’s say that your employee has outlined all of the possible options they have considered, and you see one more. For example, you could say:

“I appreciate your summary and insights. I thought of one more option; may I share it with you.”

“I am wondering if I may share something else that came to mind while we were talking.”

“I can think of another option.  Would you like to hear it?”

 

Two tools to banish the advice trap.


  • Empower your employees by encouraging their analysis and identifying options and solutions through probing questions to develop stronger, more effective employees. That is a win-win-win for you, them, and your organization. 

 

  • Asking permission before offering options or solutions creates a consensus-building conversation and communicates the respect you have for your employees’ input and ideas.

 

If you would like some additional help identifying ways to empower your employees, reach out for a free breakthrough consultation at cathie@agonleadership.com.

The Leadership Problem Most Companies Don’t Address

By Cathie Leimbach • May 19, 2026
Many organizations assume their biggest challenges are rapidly changing technology, customer retention, and employee initiative. But quite often, the root cause is people leadership problems. That’s one reason The Imperfect CEO by Jim Brown is so timely. Releasing today, May 19, the book explores how leaders build healthier organizations not by pretending to have all the answers, but by creating cultures grounded in trust, clarity, accountability, and meaningful conversations. Brian Besanceney, Chair, Board of Orlando Health, Inc., described the book this way: “Through vivid stories, real-world examples, and a model grounded in collaborative culture, Jim Brown gives leaders permission to wrestle honestly with the generational divides, misaligned targets, and cultural fractures that can too often sabotage high-potential organizations.” Greg Apple, CEO of Amgine.ai, connected the book to leadership beyond business alone: “In a fast-moving company, culture is everything. Jim Brown’s principles have helped our team lead with greater clarity and alignment. The Imperfect CEO distills those lessons brilliantly. Every leader should read it.” What stands out to me is how closely this book aligns with the principles behind Conversational Management. Healthy cultures are rarely built through policies alone. They are built through the quality of everyday leadership conversations — how expectations are clarified, how accountability is handled, how feedback is delivered, and how trust is strengthened over time. That’s why leadership development cannot stay theoretical. Culture changes conversation by conversation.  The Imperfect CEO is an easy-to-read business fable that illustrates common people leadership challenges and provides suggestions for overcoming them. Order your copy today and start building healthier leadership conversations inside your organization.

Why Some Companies Attract More Job Applicants Than They Need

By Cathie Leimbach • May 12, 2026
Chick-fil-A restaurants often receive far more job applications than they have openings. This is not luck. It is leadership. People apply where they believe they will be treated well. At Chick-fil-A, employees experience respectful communication, clear expectations, and leaders who support their success. That reputation spreads quickly through word of mouth. Leaders in these restaurants do simple things well. They ask questions before they assume. They listen to employees. They provide encouragement and clear direction. They notice good work and address problems in a helpful way. As a result, employees feel valued. They enjoy coming to work. They tell others. That is what attracts more applicants. Many organizations focus only on hiring. Strong organizations focus on how people are treated after they are hired. When leaders create a workplace where people feel respected, supported, and clear on what success looks like, something powerful happens: People stay. People perform. And more people want to join. This is what leadership really is. Would you like to see several leadership and culture practices Chick-fil-A uses to attract and keep quality employees? Click here to view: How Chick-fil-A Attracts Quality Applicants