Competency Strengthens Trust
Cathie Leimbach • July 26, 2022
“People have confidence in those who stay fresh, relevant, and capable,” says David Horsager. When one is seen as competent, others are much more willing to delegate work without micromanaging.
Tony Robbins, who is known for encouraging people to develop their potential – to become their best, emphasizes that being competent isn’t all that matters. Others must view us as competent before they will trust us. It is up to us to demonstrate our competence. He shares several ways that we can demonstrate competence.
- Don’t be modest. Don’t be arrogant either. However, it is important to speak up about your strengths, volunteer for opportunities to demonstrate your knowledge and skills.
- Have an opinion. When a colleague asks for you ideas, share them. Never say that you don’t have anything valuable to say, that they should consult others instead of you, or that you don’t care about the matter at hand.
- Ask for advice. When you show that you aren’t a know-it-all, you are open to gathering information from others, and you have a collaborative mindset, others will appreciate you more. This increases their willingness to collaborate with you, giving you opportunities to demonstrate your competence.
- Be honest. Tell the truth, even if you think others may not like it. If others ask you to work in area in which you don’t have competence, let them know it is one of your weak areas.
- Demonstrate confidence. When you are competent, show your competence and confidence by speaking clearly, using a positive, assured voice, and displaying strong body language.
When you are competent, take advantage of opportunities to demonstrate it. This will strengthen the trust between you and your colleagues.
Most leaders want better performance. They want employees who take ownership, meet expectations, solve problems, and continue growing. Yet many leaders seldom initiate performance conversations – and when they do, it doesn’t go well. Leaders often hesitate because they fear discouraging people. Employees, meanwhile, don't know if they are missing the target. This can be costly. Research highlighted in McKinsey's Courageous Conversations article found that organizations with strong performance practices are four times more likely to outperform their peers. Yet fewer than one-third of employees believe performance reviews actually help them improve. The problem is not just a lack of performance conversations. It's a lack of clarity. The article points to a simple but powerful distinction: separate the hardware of performance from the software of performance. The hardware includes facts, goals, KPIs, commitments, timelines, and standards. The software includes tone, timing, relationships, empathy, and intent. When leaders clearly explain the facts while delivering them with care and respect, employees become more receptive to improvement. Strong leaders don't judge people—they diagnose work. They focus on behaviors, actions, and results rather than character. They clarify expectations, provide coaching, and create frequent opportunities for alignment. In high-performing cultures, clarity isn't viewed as criticism. It is viewed as support. As the article notes, "Clarity is a kindness, and ambiguity is a burden." Employees deserve to know where they stand, what success looks like, and how to improve. When leaders provide that clarity with dignity and respect, performance conversations become growth conversations. And growth is where better results begin. Download the Performance Conversations: Hardware & Software Checklist for Leaders and learn how to have everyday performance discussions that include opportunities for growth, accountability, and stronger results.
Most workplace tension doesn't come from major conflicts. It comes from too few conversations. A disappointment that was never discussed. A broken agreement that was never repaired. Appreciation that was never expressed. Over time, these "withholds" create friction that slows collaboration, weakens trust, and makes even simple conversations feel difficult. The strongest teams don't avoid tension—they address it early. Research highlighted in a recent McKinsey article found that unresolved tensions can significantly reduce team effectiveness, while high-trust teams consistently outperform their peers. The difference isn't the absence of problems. It's the willingness to talk about them. One of the most practical leadership habits is creating regular opportunities for transparent interaction. That includes appreciation. People should hear what they're doing well far more often than they hear about their shortfalls. Specific, genuine recognition builds trust over time. Those trust deposits matter because once positive relationships are built, difficult conversation are more likely to accept the message . When correction is needed, reinforce that you value the person, even though they aren’t perfect. The goal is growth, not judgment. But leaders should be careful not to make appreciation transactional. If positive feedback has been absent for months, suddenly offering praise immediately before a critique usually feels insincere. Trust is built through a steady pattern of recognition, encouragement, and honest conversation—not a last-minute compliment. Transparent leaders also address issues early. Small frustrations become large resentments when left unresolved. Teams that clear the air quickly spend less energy managing tension and more energy producing results. The result? Less friction. More trust. Stronger relationships. Better performance. Because healthy conversations don't just solve problems—they strengthen the team. Free Leader Guide: 5 Practices for Trust-Building Conversations The best leaders don't wait for tension to become conflict. They build trust before it's needed. Download our 5 Practices for Trust-Building Conversations guide to learn practical ways to strengthen relationships, reduce friction, and create a culture where honest conversations lead to better performance. Download the guide and start building trust one conversation at a time.