Making a Great First Impression: Avoid These 3 Common Mistakes

Cathie Leimbach • July 15, 2025

According to research by Vanessa Van Edwards, who analyzed thousands of first encounters, your first impression happens before you even speak. People decide if they like, trust, or want to work with you the moment they first see you. Unfortunately, many of us unknowingly sabotage ourselves with what she calls the "triple threat" of first impression mistakes.


The 3 Problems That Kill Your First Impression

 

Problem 1: Making Yourself Small - When you tuck your arms close to your body and hunch your shoulders, you signal low confidence. Looking down at your phone while waiting creates the "universal defeat posture" – chin tucked, shoulders hunched, taking up minimal space. In simple terms, you look like a loser.


Problem 2: Hiding Your Hands - Keeping your hands in pockets or out of sight creates subconscious distrust. People need to see your hands to feel safe around you.


Problem 3: Avoiding Eye Contact - Direct eye contact triggers oxytocin, which builds trust and connection. Skip this in the first few seconds, and you miss a crucial bonding opportunity.


How to Fix These Mistakes

 

The solution is straightforward: keep your hands visible and expressive, stand tall with good posture to take up appropriate space, and make deliberate eye contact within the first few seconds of meeting someone. Master these three elements, and you'll create positive first impressions that open doors instead of closing them.


For more detailed research findings and background on Van Edwards' extensive studies, check out Why Vanessa Van Edwards' First Impression Studies Matter.

Feedback Isn't a Download. It's a Dialogue.

By Cathie Leimbach • July 14, 2026
Most leaders know they should give feedback. Yet many avoid it. Not because they don't care, but because they worry they'll discourage someone, create conflict, or say the wrong thing. Unfortunately, when feedback is delayed, vague, or avoided, employees don't feel supported—they feel uncertain. Research highlighted in a recent McKinsey Quarterly article found that employees who receive regular, specific feedback are significantly more engaged than those who don't. The problem isn't that employees dislike feedback. They dislike feedback that feels judgmental, unclear, or disconnected from their growth. The strongest leaders understand something important: Feedback isn't a download. It's a dialogue. When leaders approach feedback as an employee development conversation rather than a list of mistakes, people become more open to hearing hard truths and more motivated to improve. Effective feedback communicates two powerful messages at the same time: I respect you. I believe you can grow. That combination changes everything. The best leaders don't simply evaluate past performance; they help employees see future potential. Rather than focusing only on what went wrong, they provide feedforward —guidance on what someone can do to become even more successful. High-performing organizations understand a simple truth: Improvement requires input. The question for leaders isn't whether to give feedback. It's whether our feedback leaves people feeling smaller—or stronger. Feedback doesn't change people. Better conversations do. Download our one-page guide: 5 Practices That Turn Feedback Into Growth Learn five practical ways to make every feedback conversation more productive, more encouraging, and more likely to inspire lasting growth. Conversation is where leadership happens

Performance Conversations: Clarity Is Kindness

By Cathie Leimbach • July 7, 2026
Most leaders want better performance. They want employees who take ownership, meet expectations, solve problems, and continue growing. Yet many leaders seldom initiate performance conversations – and when they do, it doesn’t go well. Leaders often hesitate because they fear discouraging people. Employees, meanwhile, don't know if they are missing the target. This can be costly. Research highlighted in McKinsey's Courageous Conversations article found that organizations with strong performance practices are four times more likely to outperform their peers. Yet fewer than one-third of employees believe performance reviews actually help them improve. The problem is not just a lack of performance conversations. It's a lack of clarity. The article points to a simple but powerful distinction: separate the hardware of performance from the software of performance. The hardware includes facts, goals, KPIs, commitments, timelines, and standards. The software includes tone, timing, relationships, empathy, and intent. When leaders clearly explain the facts while delivering them with care and respect, employees become more receptive to improvement. Strong leaders don't judge people—they diagnose work.  They focus on behaviors, actions, and results rather than character. They clarify expectations, provide coaching, and create frequent opportunities for alignment. In high-performing cultures, clarity isn't viewed as criticism. It is viewed as support. As the article notes, "Clarity is a kindness, and ambiguity is a burden." Employees deserve to know where they stand, what success looks like, and how to improve. When leaders provide that clarity with dignity and respect, performance conversations become growth conversations. And growth is where better results begin. Download the Performance Conversations: Hardware & Software Checklist for Leaders and learn how to have everyday performance discussions that include opportunities for growth, accountability, and stronger results.