Making a Great First Impression: Avoid These 3 Common Mistakes

Cathie Leimbach • July 15, 2025

According to research by Vanessa Van Edwards, who analyzed thousands of first encounters, your first impression happens before you even speak. People decide if they like, trust, or want to work with you the moment they first see you. Unfortunately, many of us unknowingly sabotage ourselves with what she calls the "triple threat" of first impression mistakes.


The 3 Problems That Kill Your First Impression

 

Problem 1: Making Yourself Small - When you tuck your arms close to your body and hunch your shoulders, you signal low confidence. Looking down at your phone while waiting creates the "universal defeat posture" – chin tucked, shoulders hunched, taking up minimal space. In simple terms, you look like a loser.


Problem 2: Hiding Your Hands - Keeping your hands in pockets or out of sight creates subconscious distrust. People need to see your hands to feel safe around you.


Problem 3: Avoiding Eye Contact - Direct eye contact triggers oxytocin, which builds trust and connection. Skip this in the first few seconds, and you miss a crucial bonding opportunity.


How to Fix These Mistakes

 

The solution is straightforward: keep your hands visible and expressive, stand tall with good posture to take up appropriate space, and make deliberate eye contact within the first few seconds of meeting someone. Master these three elements, and you'll create positive first impressions that open doors instead of closing them.


For more detailed research findings and background on Van Edwards' extensive studies, check out Why Vanessa Van Edwards' First Impression Studies Matter.

Build Thinkers, Not Followers

By Cathie Leimbach • September 2, 2026
Many leaders don't set out to become the answer to every question. It happens gradually. Someone asks their leader how to do it because it's faster than figuring it out. Another employee waits because they don't want to make the wrong decision. Before long, you're answering questions your team should be able to answer on their own. The good news is that you don't have to be the answer to every question. You can build a team that thinks, solves problems, and takes ownership without you giving up appropriate control. Here are a few places to start: Ask Before You Answer When someone brings you a problem, don't start by giving them the solution. Instead, ask:  What do you think? What options have you considered? What would you do if I wasn't here? People grow when they think through problems—not when someone else thinks for them. Let Small Decisions Stay Small. Not every decision needs your approval. Look for low-risk opportunities where employees or supervisors can tell the employee to make the call themselves. Confidence grows with experience. Praise Initiative, Even When It's Imperfect. If people believe they'll be criticized every time they make a decision, they'll stop making them. When someone takes ownership, recognize their initiative. Coaching them to make a better decision is easier in the long run than making every decision yourself. Notice the Questions That Keep Coming Back. If you're answering the same questions week after week, don't just answer them faster. Ask why they're still being asked. The issue may not be your people. It may be an unclear expectation, an inconsistent process, lack of training, or a conversation that never happened. Helping people think for themselves doesn't happen in one meeting. It happens through dozens of everyday collaborative conversations that gradually build confidence, judgment, and ownership. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ You don't have to figure it all out alone. Bring your workplace people challenges to the FREE Workplace Conversations Clinic September 21. Join Cathie Leimbach and other leaders for a practical conversation about the people challenges you're facing—and leave with fresh perspectives you can put to work. Register HERE

When the Boss "Bosses People Around"

By Cathie Leimbach • August 25, 2026
This probably isn't the company you imagined building. You wanted a team that solved problems, took ownership, and helped move the business forward. Instead, somewhere along the way, you became the person who answers every question, makes every decision, and tells everyone what to do. The interruptions never end. Every day starts with a plan and ends with another list of problems that somehow became yours to solve. You work harder than ever yet still feel like you're falling behind. Another good employee resigns. Another supervisor struggles. Another improvement initiative loses momentum. You leave work mentally exhausted, wondering why everyone seems busy—but so little actually changes. Your employees feel it, too. When people learn that every decision runs through the boss, they eventually stop making decisions of their own. When leaders spend most of their time directing every task, correcting every mistake, and solving every problem, people gradually stop thinking for themselves. They become cautious instead of confident. They stop offering ideas because they're not sure anyone wants to hear them. Ownership fades. Enthusiasm disappears. The culture slowly shifts from people wanting to contribute to people simply trying to get through the day. Ironically, the more a boss has to boss people around, the less ownership employees take. Before long, leaders become firefighters instead of business builders. Instead of building the company they envisioned, they're simply trying to survive another week. The surprising news is that this cycle usually isn't caused by a lack of effort. The frustrating part is that working harder rarely fixes it. In fact, the harder many leaders push, the more dependent their people become. What feels like the solution often becomes part of the problem. Talking through your leadership challenges with others can be helpful. Ask questions of your network. Get some ideas online. Sometimes another perspective helps you see what your organizational chart or production reports don't. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ You don't have to figure it all out alone. Bring your workplace people challenges to the FREE Workplace Conversations Clinic September 21. Join Cathie Leimbach and other leaders for a practical conversation about the people challenges you're facing—and leave with fresh perspectives you can put to work. Register Here