Being an Ally Requires Speaking Up

Cathie Leimbach • May 17, 2022

"Courage matters more than niceness", says Austin Channing-Brown. She speaks up for justice, for diversity, equity, and inclusion.  She believes that everyone has someone to offer and that all of us deserve to have opportunities to feel valued and appreciated.  She believes that it is our responsibility to help others be positioned to contribute to the world around them rather than being continually sidelined, marginalized, and battered.


However, in our society today there is unspoken and spoken pressure to just get along - to just keep quiet and not rock the boat.  Yet, when we turn a blind eye to inappropriate behaviors in our homes, workplaces, and communities, we are allowing people to be hurt and our culture to erode.  As Channing-Brown says, "Speaking up for others, for orderly meetings, for the bullying to stop, is disrupting the 'safe' norm".  When we turn a blind eye to disrespectful words and hurtful behaviors, we may be maintaining social and physical safety at the moment, but our tolerance silently gives others permission to continue, and even increase, their negative actions.


It's not okay to put up with ineffective and disrespectful behavior.  Yet, it takes courage to go against the norm and do what is right.  Being 'nice' is often not being kind.  People are often described as nice when they are agreeable; they are stuck in neutral and don't offend or argue.  On the other hand, being kind is showing that you care about others, that you have their best interests in mind and you support them towards a more fulfilling life.  


In her book, Radical Candor, Kim Scott shares that due to having a 'nice' culture she had to close her small business.  Nobody in her company spoke up when an employee did not do their work well; rather than offend the underperformer, they redid the work.  Not having tough conversations with a pleasant employee wasted everyone's time, became frustrating for all, and prevented the business from being viable. 


Channing-Brown encourages everyone to be allies in making a difference in organizational and community diversity.  Marginalized people generally don't have the connections and resources to influence systemic change. Causes led by one person rarely make meaningful headway towards changes in organizational systems in government, businesses and non-profits, neighborhoods or families.  Allies are needed in the cause.  Society will benefit from strong allyship.  (This is a new word for me, too.) 


"Allyship is a life-long process of building supportive associations and relationships based on trust, consistency, and accountability with marginalized individuals and groups. An ally actively promotes and aspires to advance a culture of inclusion through intentional, positive, and conscious efforts."  Do you care enough about living in a strong, vibrant community to practice allyship in your organization or community?  Do you have the courage to speak up even when it means upsetting the unspoken norm?


When you see someone being marginalized due to race, gender, education, economic status, disability, life experience, etc., I encourage all of us to have the courage to speak up for them.  Go to bat for them to be considered and supported.  When you see someone speaking up for the marginalized, support them.  Speak up in the moment.  Go beyond words and take action.  Ask others to join the cause of creating organizations and communities where all people have opportunities to have a meaningful life.

Trust-Building Conversations

By Cathie Leimbach • June 30, 2026
Most workplace tension doesn't come from major conflicts. It comes from too few conversations. A disappointment that was never discussed. A broken agreement that was never repaired. Appreciation that was never expressed. Over time, these "withholds" create friction that slows collaboration, weakens trust, and makes even simple conversations feel difficult. The strongest teams don't avoid tension—they address it early. Research highlighted in a recent McKinsey article found that unresolved tensions can significantly reduce team effectiveness, while high-trust teams consistently outperform their peers. The difference isn't the absence of problems. It's the willingness to talk about them. One of the most practical leadership habits is creating regular opportunities for transparent interaction. That includes appreciation. People should hear what they're doing well far more often than they hear about their shortfalls. Specific, genuine recognition builds trust over time. Those trust deposits matter because once positive relationships are built, difficult conversation are more likely to accept the message . When correction is needed, reinforce that you value the person, even though they aren’t perfect. The goal is growth, not judgment. But leaders should be careful not to make appreciation transactional. If positive feedback has been absent for months, suddenly offering praise immediately before a critique usually feels insincere. Trust is built through a steady pattern of recognition, encouragement, and honest conversation—not a last-minute compliment. Transparent leaders also address issues early. Small frustrations become large resentments when left unresolved. Teams that clear the air quickly spend less energy managing tension and more energy producing results. The result? Less friction. More trust. Stronger relationships. Better performance. Because healthy conversations don't just solve problems—they strengthen the team. Free Leader Guide: 5 Practices for Trust-Building Conversations The best leaders don't wait for tension to become conflict. They build trust before it's needed. Download our 5 Practices for Trust-Building Conversations guide to learn practical ways to strengthen relationships, reduce friction, and create a culture where honest conversations lead to better performance. Download the guide and start building trust one conversation at a time.

Speaking Up Is Not Defiance. It's Duty.

By Cathie Leimbach • June 23, 2026
Most leaders say they want employees to speak up. They want people who spot risks, question assumptions, and help the organization make better decisions. Yet many employees hesitate to do exactly that. Why? Because leaders often respond to speaking up as if the speaker is complaining, criticizing or resisting. When people fear being viewed as difficult, they stop sharing what they see. The organization loses valuable information, ideas, and perspectives. A recent McKinsey article found that teams with high psychological safety are two to three times more likely to generate breakthrough ideas. When people feel safe speaking up, better thinking follows. The best leaders understand a simple truth: Speaking up is not defiance. It's duty. When employees question assumptions, raise concerns, or offer a different perspective, they are helping the team avoid blind spots and make stronger decisions. That's why effective leaders don't merely tolerate speaking up—they invite it. They ask: What are we not seeing? What assumptions are we making? Who might see this differently? What information are we missing? Just as importantly, they respond with curiosity instead of defensiveness. They thank people for expressing their perspective. They explain how input influenced decisions. They make speaking up safe. Because organizations don't improve when everyone agrees. They improve when people feel responsible for helping the team see what others may have missed. In healthy organizations, speaking up isn't rebellion. It's responsibility. It's duty. Leadership Reflection Think about your last leadership team meeting. Did people simply agree? Or did someone help the team see something it otherwise would have missed? Download 5 Questions That Surface Better Thinking and make speaking up a productive part of how your team thinks, decides, and performs.