Appreciation is More Than Words

Cathie Leimbach • July 2, 2020

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Have you ever received words of thanks that seemed hollow and insincere? Have you ever, upon opening a gift, wondered why the giver gave you ‘THIS?’


It happens a lot in life and at work! Someone reaches out to express appreciation but their gesture falls flat. The recipient doesn’t FEEL appreciated.


I have felt such a disconnect several times in my life. For example, when a friend gave me a birthday present that was far outside of my taste, I was frustrated that she wasted her money. However, I greatly appreciated that she organized a birthday party for me. I value time with friends much more than receiving gifts. 


When I receive a greeting card, I feel valued by the sender acknowledging the special occasion or challenge in my life. However, I don’t always read the pre-printed message, because those words weren’t customized for me. Because generic words don’t make me feel appreciated, I don't expect that others value them either. Since I have a very hard time finding appropriately worded cards for others, I send few cards, even though I now know that I have friends and colleagues who would appreciate receiving cards with encouraging pre-printed words. 


This little known diversity in how people express and feel appreciated has a huge impact in the workplace. Two-thirds of the times that managers think they have shown how much they value an employee, the employee does not FEEL valued. Sometimes, the employee even becomes frustrated with their manager who has just demonstrated how little they know about them.


Does a box of gourmet chocolates show that you value a high performing diabetic?


How does someone who hasn’t received a pay increase in the past three years, due to a ‘barely satisfactory’ performance rating, feel when their boss says, “glad we could rely on you today for this rush job, great work as always”?


Being appreciated at work is an important emotional need. It requires a positive emotional connection between managers and employees. 85% of employees report that FEELing valued at work is the biggest contributor to their job satisfaction. However, only 17% say they FEEL valued at work. This gap needs to be closed for employees and organizations to share more win/win experiences.


It is important for managers to build an emotionally positive relationship with every employee. Otherwise, they will experience high turnover and spend a lot of time hiring, onboarding, training, and being stressed about mediocre productivity.


What is emotionally positive for you, is not necessarily emotionally positive for those you work with. Just as there is diversity in our personalities, there is diversity in our preferred ‘language’ of appreciation. Our colleagues will only feel truly valued if we speak their language. Let's explore the five languages of appreciation in the workplace to learn about appreciation diversity.


The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace™ are:

  • Words of Affirmation such as giving specific thanks to an employee for meeting a customer deadline, is preferred by 46% of the workforce.
  • Quality Time, such as arranging to have a 1-on-1 coffee break conversation, is preferred by 26% of the workforce.
  • Acts of Service, such as helping the Public Relations Coordinator load the trade show booth and supplies into their vehicle, is preferred by 22% of the workforce.
  • Tangible Gifts, such as surprising a colleague with their favorite donut from their favorite bakery, is preferred by 6% of the workforce.
  • Physical Touch, such as a high five, is important for building trust at work but no one has identified this as their primary workplace language of appreciation.


Why Use The 5 Languages of Appreciation Model?

When managers express appreciation in a way that helps their employees FEEL valued, morale increases, turnover decreases, productivity improves, and stress declines, all contributing to a healthier culture for employees and a stronger bottom line for the organization.


Click here to learn more about The 5 Languages of Appreciation™ and how to implement this model in your workplace.

Feedback Isn't a Download. It's a Dialogue.

By Cathie Leimbach • July 14, 2026
Most leaders know they should give feedback. Yet many avoid it. Not because they don't care, but because they worry they'll discourage someone, create conflict, or say the wrong thing. Unfortunately, when feedback is delayed, vague, or avoided, employees don't feel supported—they feel uncertain. Research highlighted in a recent McKinsey Quarterly article found that employees who receive regular, specific feedback are significantly more engaged than those who don't. The problem isn't that employees dislike feedback. They dislike feedback that feels judgmental, unclear, or disconnected from their growth. The strongest leaders understand something important: Feedback isn't a download. It's a dialogue. When leaders approach feedback as an employee development conversation rather than a list of mistakes, people become more open to hearing hard truths and more motivated to improve. Effective feedback communicates two powerful messages at the same time: I respect you. I believe you can grow. That combination changes everything. The best leaders don't simply evaluate past performance; they help employees see future potential. Rather than focusing only on what went wrong, they provide feedforward —guidance on what someone can do to become even more successful. High-performing organizations understand a simple truth: Improvement requires input. The question for leaders isn't whether to give feedback. It's whether our feedback leaves people feeling smaller—or stronger. Feedback doesn't change people. Better conversations do. Download our one-page guide: 5 Practices That Turn Feedback Into Growth Learn five practical ways to make every feedback conversation more productive, more encouraging, and more likely to inspire lasting growth. Conversation is where leadership happens

Performance Conversations: Clarity Is Kindness

By Cathie Leimbach • July 7, 2026
Most leaders want better performance. They want employees who take ownership, meet expectations, solve problems, and continue growing. Yet many leaders seldom initiate performance conversations – and when they do, it doesn’t go well. Leaders often hesitate because they fear discouraging people. Employees, meanwhile, don't know if they are missing the target. This can be costly. Research highlighted in McKinsey's Courageous Conversations article found that organizations with strong performance practices are four times more likely to outperform their peers. Yet fewer than one-third of employees believe performance reviews actually help them improve. The problem is not just a lack of performance conversations. It's a lack of clarity. The article points to a simple but powerful distinction: separate the hardware of performance from the software of performance. The hardware includes facts, goals, KPIs, commitments, timelines, and standards. The software includes tone, timing, relationships, empathy, and intent. When leaders clearly explain the facts while delivering them with care and respect, employees become more receptive to improvement. Strong leaders don't judge people—they diagnose work.  They focus on behaviors, actions, and results rather than character. They clarify expectations, provide coaching, and create frequent opportunities for alignment. In high-performing cultures, clarity isn't viewed as criticism. It is viewed as support. As the article notes, "Clarity is a kindness, and ambiguity is a burden." Employees deserve to know where they stand, what success looks like, and how to improve. When leaders provide that clarity with dignity and respect, performance conversations become growth conversations. And growth is where better results begin. Download the Performance Conversations: Hardware & Software Checklist for Leaders and learn how to have everyday performance discussions that include opportunities for growth, accountability, and stronger results.