Appreciation is More Than Words

Cathie Leimbach • July 2, 2020

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Have you ever received words of thanks that seemed hollow and insincere? Have you ever, upon opening a gift, wondered why the giver gave you ‘THIS?’


It happens a lot in life and at work! Someone reaches out to express appreciation but their gesture falls flat. The recipient doesn’t FEEL appreciated.


I have felt such a disconnect several times in my life. For example, when a friend gave me a birthday present that was far outside of my taste, I was frustrated that she wasted her money. However, I greatly appreciated that she organized a birthday party for me. I value time with friends much more than receiving gifts. 


When I receive a greeting card, I feel valued by the sender acknowledging the special occasion or challenge in my life. However, I don’t always read the pre-printed message, because those words weren’t customized for me. Because generic words don’t make me feel appreciated, I don't expect that others value them either. Since I have a very hard time finding appropriately worded cards for others, I send few cards, even though I now know that I have friends and colleagues who would appreciate receiving cards with encouraging pre-printed words. 


This little known diversity in how people express and feel appreciated has a huge impact in the workplace. Two-thirds of the times that managers think they have shown how much they value an employee, the employee does not FEEL valued. Sometimes, the employee even becomes frustrated with their manager who has just demonstrated how little they know about them.


Does a box of gourmet chocolates show that you value a high performing diabetic?


How does someone who hasn’t received a pay increase in the past three years, due to a ‘barely satisfactory’ performance rating, feel when their boss says, “glad we could rely on you today for this rush job, great work as always”?


Being appreciated at work is an important emotional need. It requires a positive emotional connection between managers and employees. 85% of employees report that FEELing valued at work is the biggest contributor to their job satisfaction. However, only 17% say they FEEL valued at work. This gap needs to be closed for employees and organizations to share more win/win experiences.


It is important for managers to build an emotionally positive relationship with every employee. Otherwise, they will experience high turnover and spend a lot of time hiring, onboarding, training, and being stressed about mediocre productivity.


What is emotionally positive for you, is not necessarily emotionally positive for those you work with. Just as there is diversity in our personalities, there is diversity in our preferred ‘language’ of appreciation. Our colleagues will only feel truly valued if we speak their language. Let's explore the five languages of appreciation in the workplace to learn about appreciation diversity.


The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace™ are:

  • Words of Affirmation such as giving specific thanks to an employee for meeting a customer deadline, is preferred by 46% of the workforce.
  • Quality Time, such as arranging to have a 1-on-1 coffee break conversation, is preferred by 26% of the workforce.
  • Acts of Service, such as helping the Public Relations Coordinator load the trade show booth and supplies into their vehicle, is preferred by 22% of the workforce.
  • Tangible Gifts, such as surprising a colleague with their favorite donut from their favorite bakery, is preferred by 6% of the workforce.
  • Physical Touch, such as a high five, is important for building trust at work but no one has identified this as their primary workplace language of appreciation.


Why Use The 5 Languages of Appreciation Model?

When managers express appreciation in a way that helps their employees FEEL valued, morale increases, turnover decreases, productivity improves, and stress declines, all contributing to a healthier culture for employees and a stronger bottom line for the organization.


Click here to learn more about The 5 Languages of Appreciation™ and how to implement this model in your workplace.

Thanksgiving: Beyond the Turkey and Thank-You Notes

By Cathie Leimbach • November 25, 2025
As leaders, we know Thanksgiving week is prime time for employee appreciation. But here's the thing—a generic "thanks everyone" email hits differently for different people. Dr. Paul White's research on the 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace offers a smarter approach. Just like people receive love differently, your team members feel valued in distinct ways: through words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, tangible gifts, or physical touch (think handshakes and high-fives in professional settings). That all-star on your team? She might light up from a handwritten note praising her specific contributions. Your behind-the-scenes problem-solver might feel more appreciated if you help him out by clearing his schedule for an afternoon so he can tackle his backlog. This Thanksgiving, skip the one-size-fits-all approach. Take ten minutes to consider how each team member prefers to be recognized. It's not about grand gestures—it's about matching your gratitude to what actually resonates with each individual. When appreciation lands in someone's preferred language, it doesn't just feel nice. It builds loyalty, boosts morale, and reminds people why they show up every day. That's something worth being thankful for. Curious about what languages are preferred? Click here to learn more!

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By Cathie Leimbach • November 10, 2025
In most organizations, the instinct is to add —more goals, more projects, more meetings. But as Juliet Funt, founder of the Juliet Funt Group, teaches in her Strategic Choice process, real leadership strength lies in deciding what to stop doing . Strategic Choice is the intentional narrowing of priorities—cutting away the clutter so teams can focus on what truly drives results. It’s a disciplined act of letting go: saying no to good ideas so there’s room for the great ones. Funt’s approach challenges leaders to pause, think, and create the mental and operational space their people need to perform at their best. By removing unnecessary tasks and misplaced effort, leaders make room for precision, innovation, and real thinking time. This isn’t about doing less—it’s about doing what matters most. When businesses adopt this mindset, they replace overwhelm with clarity and regain control of their time, energy, and outcomes. For small to mid-sized companies, embracing Strategic Choice can transform busyness into focus—and that focus is where sustainable growth begins. Want a quick visual overview? View Strategic Choice: Making Room for What Matters to see how this process helps leaders focus on what truly drives results.